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Premature Baby Loss, Baby Bereavement,Birth of a Premature Stillborn Baby.

Being prepared

When you Know inadvance being prepared for the delivery of a premature stillborn baby.

  1. Tell your closest family and whoever you need to be there for you at the time of delivery.
  2. Spend time with your baby after delivery if at all possible.
  3.  Take as many family pics together of you all as you can. or ask a family member to do it for you so you can all get to hold baby.
  4.  Even young children can deal with grief don't ignore them because you may not know what to say its a part of growing up and if you are not scared your children won't be.
  5.  Create a loving atmosphere in memory of the last moments and it will be good ones later down the line. Some mums wished they had held baby even 30 years later and deeply regret it causing many hurts. Its because they can not turn the clock back "you don't get another chance".
  6.  If baby is small you can order tiny baby burial clothes It gives you the opportunity to dress baby at least once or twice before a final sleep and burial/cremation.Baby is then dressed with dignity and respect instead of being wrapped in just a blanket for final goodbyes.
  7. 6.Create a memory box,add photos, teddy, baby outfit you would have brought baby home in to help you deal with grief. Write poems and your daily thoughts on a card and add these to the box over the next few months or so you will be creating valuable memories for baby keeping them treasured forever in baby's own little box. 
  8.  After the funeral you may want to not talk to any one for approx 2 weeks, it does help to talk about baby as much as possible instead of keeping hidden feelings building up.But You may need this short period where you and your partner can greeve privately.
  9.  Share your thoughts and emotions with loved ones, family and friends closest to you so you don't build barriers.If you say nothing to anyone It can leave to awkardness with freinds/neighbours as they may not know how to spark up a conversation under the tragic circumstances.
  10. join as many support groups as you can deal with and if help is offered take it.

 When premature baby dies just after delivery Here are some sensitive yet practical advice for bereaved parents.

If you have time you may want to think about how you might like your baby to be wrapped and washed once he/she is delivered? Perhaps you have a blanket you'd like to wrap him/her in Until you can order the baby burial clothes you need..

  • Who would you like to be present at delivery?
  • Would you like to wash your baby?
  • Would you like any other family members to see or hold the baby once he/she is born?
  • Would you like to take your own camera to hospital to take photographs of the baby? You may want to think about who you would like to inform of your loss. Discuss this with your partner and midwives or nursing staff.

Post mortem of a premature baby...

sometimes a post mortem may be required pluis it can give some relief and diagnosis of why baby died.A post mortem examination is another stage in investigating a person’s illness. It is a detailed physical examination after they have died. Some post mortem examinations are legally required, others are not.

You may decide not to have a postmortem and delay the funeral until you feel ready for it .Don't let any one push you into a funeral too early causing you more distress.

 You need to Take all photos early on as tiny babies are not embalmed and will be very,very difficult for you to view baby later.especilaiiy if you wait amonth or so to bury baby with his or her little house.

 For more information if you live in England, Wales and Northern Ireland visit: direct.gov.uk/en/RightsAndResponsibilities/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/DG_066713

For more information if you live in Scotland visit: scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2006/04/12094440/4 Legal

Requirements of a stillborn premature baby birth Premature Babies Born Before 24 weeks of Pregnancy.

 A stillborn birth is when a baby is born showing and shows no signs of life.There are no legal requirements to bury or cremate a baby born before 24 weeks of pregnancy. However many hospitals do offer this service. Parents must co-sign a form with the midwife or attending doctor for the burial or cremation to take place. Babies Born After 24 Weeks of Pregnancy When a premature baby is stillborn the attending doctor will issue a Stillbirth Certificate.

 If a baby is born alive and dies shortly after birth the attending doctor will issue a death certificate. However, it is required by law that the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages issues a birth/death certificate for the baby. This can be arranged for the registrar to visit at the hospital or alternatively an appointment can be made at the Department of Births, Deaths and Marriages. At our local hospital it can be arranged for the registrar to visit in your own home.

When a Registrar of births receives the death or stillbirth certificate parents are issued a certificate of burial. If the hospital is arranging burial this certificate must be handed over to hospital staff. Alternatively, parents who decide to make their own funeral arrangements must hand the certificate over to the Funeral Director.

 Funerals for premature babies

A funeral can be arranged very simply by the hospital. If you want to be more involved there are many alternatives for organising a burial, cremation, and funeral and many organisations which can help you. Cremation Regulations for a premature baby New regulations came into being in November 2008 full details are on the website below.

Families now have a right to inspect the cremation forms before the service. In many cases the doctor completing form 4 will do so with the family present. The doctor filling in this form will be providing contact details of those who cared for the person during their final illness, professionals and family, as the second doctor completing form 5 will be confirming the information given by talking to those named. Separate forms and guidance are available regarding stillborn children.

For more information visit: .justice.gov

Dressing a premature baby for a final sleep and saying final goodbyes.

Premature babies less than 20 weeks gestation may be too fragile to dress in clothes in this case opt for a baby burial pouch or crib which can be found easily on any department on the left. Tiny teddies are also readily available from 1 inch. Complete Baby bereavement clothing sets and gowns in the most micro of premature baby and tiny baby sizes..

A premature baby from 6 inches is able to be dressed with dignity, made to feel comfortable. baby feels settledand in peace and that he or she is fully dressed in clothes that fit. Mummy gets the chance to dress baby at least once in specila clothes picked out her self. It helps create some good memories by dressing baby ready for family cuddles and a then settled for the final sleep. The majority of these baby clothes are made in any size you need to fit baby that has just passed away. Created with simple openings and fastenings for ease of dressing without too much distrubance to baby.

On sad occassions Tiny little babies are often too small/ weak or extremely poorly and don't always make it. You can be prepared in case baby sadly does pass away and not worried about what baby wears for a final sleep. If baby is very premature you will struggle to find anything suitable both on the high street and in the uk online for a baby's burial or cremation. Even hunting for dolls sizes is a problem.

Many hospitals only provide a blanket to wrap baby in.At Somthing Precious home page or the tiny baby bereavement section at Cheeky Chums sensitive staff can help a family member or mum decide what you want baby to wear with a comfortable outfit for the most micro of premature babies.

 In the past approx 60 years ago here in the UK babies that were born stillborn was often cremated.They were taken from the mother and incinerated.A funeral director also told us that this indeed was the case.Some never even had the chance to say goodbyte get afinal cuddle just whisked away after birth.Even before this Some babies weren’t even allowed to be buried on sacred ground such as a cemetary.

Babies above 24 weeks gestation will be given a certificate from the miwife so the baby death can be legally registered as a stillborn.registering a stillbirth must be completed within 42 days.Parents often want people to know that baby did exist so even babies under this gestation which do not get a death certificate can still have a gravestone to add names, dates etc.

If the family already has a grave plot and you decide on a cremation ask your local cemetrary as often the ashes can go into the family grave plot to be close to other family members.Its also a cheaper option too for parents struggling to buy new plot.

Some Uk charities in the Uk help parents with funding to buy a gravestone.we shall list some helpful sites further down this page for you.You do not have to worry about getting a head stone straight away it may even be year later when you decide “yes a head stone is right for us”.

 Some parents struggle finding words and appropriate pictures for a stillborn baby gravestone and again you can find some useful info on this further down the page. stillborn baby headstone verses… you may use these freely as we own the copyright. loved forever,to forget you never, still here in our heart and never to depart. Born a sleep resting peacefully we love little baby. A hearts wish, a mother’s sweet kiss, yet love’s for eternity peaceful and bliss. our darling baby born alseep goodnight sweet son. A precious princess we say goodnight, you lite up our lives like a star in the night. our sweet angel born asleep.

stillborn baby headstones ideas… http://abbeymemorialsltd.rtrk.co.uk/?scid=33520&kw=6710508&pub_cr_id=6002461776 http://www.headstones.net/Infant-Headstones-information.php http://www.scoutandstrykerfoundation.com/ http://www.cemetery-headstones.net/child-memorials.html

baby stillborn useful links my friend laura runs a non profit organisation to help raise funds to buy a baby headstone email her here email babybearsangelmemories@hotmail.co.uk http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Diol1/DoItOnline/DG_4017717 http://www.teddyloveclub.org.au/index02.php?id=54

To clarify  a stillbirth is where a baby is born after 20 weeks gestation known as a stillborn or stillbirth.Its stillborn because it shows no signs of life. It could have happened inside the womb or during delivery. Babies born stillborn under 24 weeks gestation do not get a death cerificate. Babies born before this time of 20 weeks which have passed away is known as a miscarriage. Babies born stillborn after 24 weeks gestation will be allocated a death certificate.

Premature babies and newborn Babies born alive which later die within 28 days of birth is known as a neonatal death.

A premature birth for babies born under 37 weeks gestation is at more risk of problems due to prematurity than a baby that has gone to full term.

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