what support would you like to see for baby loss at the hospital and afterwards

what support would you like to see for baby loss at the hospital and afterwards?

the loss of a baby is the worst type of death to deal with as a family. The support you get at the time and afterwards be a Godsend or an emotional nightmare for many years to come.

we looked at the response of parents when they had lost their baby and reviewed their comments to try and give this taboo subject of baby loss a better voice for all Aimed at health professionals, families and also friends. here are some of the comments that mattered most to these families going through the grief after losing a baby, and how they were treated....

• I got baby junk mail afterwards I didn't realise you could block such mail coming to you. you don't think when you have just lost a baby but its little triggers like these that are so hurtful.
• a midwife called round to weigh my baby after the birth what ? I lost my baby did no one tell you ?
• I got counselling it helped after losing my baby.
• you can contact your local sands group very supportive they are a charity that helps after the loss of a baby.
• I cant believe both a midwife and health visitor send me a letter congratulations  on the birth of my baby boy and a 6 week check up letter my baby died!
• don't avoid me crossing over the road just because you heard my baby died I am here I have feelings.
• I have lost my baby I just want my family there for me.

baby loss support at the hospital scan 

The first time a family may find out that baby has sadly passed away in the womb could be at the 20 weeks scan at the hospital.
The words a parent hears on the announcement that baby has died could still ring out 20 years , later.So its Important to support the parents and choose words carefully as they after told that they have lost their baby. if the sonographer moves the screen away from the parents view could set alarm bells ringing causing them to panic and its how the consultant breaks the news to them that can have a more negative effect on hearing those dreaded words baby has no heartbeat.  
more and more hospitals are becoming more tuned into the bereavement side of giving birth and many families even raise money to fund a bereavement delivery room that is sound proofed. Imagine giving birth knowing baby has already died and other mums are close by having live babies crying. that first sound every mum wants to hear but never for a mum going through the delivery knowing that their own child wont ever cry themselves..

delivering a stillborn baby support at the birth

parents need as much support as possible during the delivery of their stillborn baby. it can be from all the staff involved including making all staff aware during necessary change overs of midwives during labour, and to allow close family / friends being allowed to comfort mum and dad during the birth and to stay if parents request it afterwards. support also comes in the form of allowing the parents to spend as much time as they wish after baby is born in the delivery room undisturbed to form strong bonds create memories take footprints take photographs bath and dress baby sing to baby etc.

baby loss awareness support each year

In the UK and overseas a baby loss awareness day was created and the week leading up to on the 15 October people all over the world especially on social media light a candle and openly talk about their baby that died. creating a much needed sense of release for this taboo subject looking at baby loss. It was set up in 2002.uniting families everywhere looking at ways to improve services, offering continued support to parents suffering pregnancy and baby loss and much more.one finding is only 1 in 3 maternity units have a dedicated bereavement room  in the UK .each year money is raised to support charities helping families of baby loss with the selling of pink and blue ribbon pins and since progressed onto a combined ribbon colour.

supporting each other ever year for baby loss awareness

9-15th October do join with other families across the world and take part in the global ‘Wave of Light’. light a candle at 7pm local time and leave it burning for at least 1 hour. joining us  remembering all babies that have died too soon. This can be done individually or in a group, at home or share a picture of a lighted candle on your profile pic or facebook page creating  a global ‘Wave of Light’ in memory of all the babies that died too soon. 

offering support to others after you have lost your own baby.

so how can you come to terms with the loss of a baby and help other mums and dads too ? 

here are a few tips...

• join a local sands group
• look on forum sites on the internet for baby loss support and join in with the conversations.
• offer to help as  a volunteer for baby loss awareness campaign or a baby bereavement charity.
• raise money with close friends for a cold cot to donate to your local hospital.

baby loss now my family wont offer support 

"Don't shut me out " is a statement often made by some mums who have had a baby bereavement loss.the worse type of loss when a granddad or grandma has died family talk about their memories they had of them . because a baby wasn't always here long or died before birth often there is little memories to talk about. often families just don't know what to say or how to say it , but being there for them is what parents need most. love encouragement a listening ear a shoulder to cry on.Most of all being there for them in their time of need.

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